Looking At The Stars
by bitten-by-luv
Summary: BxE Bella reflects on all of the trouble she and Edward went through after everybody found out about the engagment. R&R plz. my first Twilight oneshot.


BPOV

I stared at Edward, sitting in the circle of moonlight. His face was the picture of peace, love…. Hope. I smiled contentedly at him. His eyes were closed, so he didn't see my smile but he felt the squeeze of my hand in his.

_Stand up straight  
Do your trick, turn on the stars_

"Edward?" I whispered, knowing he could hear me. His head turned to face me and his topaz eyes shone brightly.

"Yes Bella?" he replied just as quietly. I could see the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

I felt my face light up in a smile; the way he said my name… with love. "I used to think the stars were the brightest, most beautiful thing out there… I think you've put all infinity of them to shame," I explained.

Edwards pulled me to his stone chest. "I could say the same about you," he laughed. His skin _almost_ sparkled in the moon, almost, but not quite. "Your beauty has just made me appreciate them more," he murmured in my ear.

I felt the blood rise to my cheeks and tried to ignore it. Edward gave my cheek a kiss, and I could feel his lips upturned.

_Jupiter shines so bright when you're around_

I turned my eyes to the sky, looking at the twinkling stars; millions of eyes watching over reality turned upside down.

"There's Venus," Edward pointed out. "And Jupiter." They were the brightest out there.

"You're still brighter," I teased. Edward grinned crookedly and my heart thumped unsteadily.

_They tell us slow down  
We're too young, you need to grow  
Well speed's the key,  
And they don't know who we are_

That was one of my favorite nights with Edward. One of the only peaceful night's for months. We had to tell Charlie about the engagement (gag), Charlie told Renee, who told Phil, who tried his very best to convince her not to come up to Forks, who came up here and chewed my ass out.

"You are too young, young lady!" She shrieked. Even Edward winced.

"Why not Jacob?" Charlie cut in.

If looks could kill, Edward and I would be digging two graves.

I stood up, facing both of them, ready to explode. "Why don't you guys _ever_ respect my choices?" I cried. "_What_ have I done in the past? Tell me."

They were both gravely silent.

"Exactly! I've followed all the rules, I haven't done anything wrong—why can't you let me do this _just_ this once? Why?" Renee was beginning to cry.

"Too fast…" she mumbled.

"Oh well," I snapped. "Maybe speed's what's gonna _help_ us!"

_Who's to say we're not good enough  
Who's to say that this is not our love_

The next day, while Edward was hunting, Jacob came through my window. I practically broke the skin, clenching my fists, refraining from punching him again.

"You're _marrying_ him?!" he shouted.

"Yes," I growled.

Jacob got on his knees in front of me, taking my hands in between his leaning forward. "Why, Bells? Why do you have to do this? You're not going anywhere! I'm… I'm better than him. I can give you _so_ much more! I can give you _life, a family._"

I stared into Jacob's warm pleading eyes, fighting the tears back. "I love him," I ground out.

"You love me," Jacob pointed out.

"Yes, but…" I had no good argument. "At least…"

Jacob frowned. "I'll let you have fun. I'll let you be yourself. We'll grow old together—"

"No!" I shrieked. "I love him Jacob. Understand that. And the treaty—the treaty is _dumb_. He just _proved_ that they wouldn't hurt you guys. He just took a load off of you guys. Werewolves and vampires _can_ get along, they're just too smug to try."

"He's a bas—"

"No, Jake. _You're_ the bastard. For breaking _my_ heart in two. And not even caring."

We sat there for an inexplicable period of time, staring at each other. Finally, I said, "Jacob. Get out of my room. I don't even want to look at you anymore."

"But…" he stopped, realizing he wasn't going to get anywhere.

"Goodbye. Until you can apologize and _mean_ it."

_Mother, don't tell me friends are the ones that I lose  
cause they'd bleed before you_

I went downstairs, sobbing. Mom and dad were still arguing, of course. "Bella?!" Charlie asked. "What…?"

"Jacob's no longer my friend," I mumbled.

Renee frowned, not even feeling sympathetic as dad wrapped his arms around me and I sobbed into his shoulder. "I told you Bella, she warned. "I told you it would be ridiculous to marry this young. You won't go anywhere. All your friends are going o be _gone._"

I ignored her. Unfortunately, dad didn't. "How can you say that Renee?! You could at least support her some!"

I stood between them like that, listening to insults and accusations fly between them.

_Sometimes family are the ones you choose  
It's too late now, I hold on to this life I've found_

"If you still want to make amends, I'll let you go," Edward told me later, desperate to make me feel better. "I… you'll be in more danger with him… but still safer—"

"No," I whispered. "It's too late now. I've chosen you and your family. They're all I'm going to have left at the end of this mess."

"Bella, I…"

"Don't leave me again," I sobbed. I pulled myself into his lap and clung to him as I began to cry again. The tears just wouldn't stop, would they?

_Who's to say we won't burn it out  
Who's to say we won't sink in doubt_

Maybe Jake was right. Who knows? Maybe after I'm a vampire—everything will get screwed up and I'll regret every minute of it.

Maybe.

But I had confidence. Nobody knew me. Nobody knew us. They didn't even _try._

_Who's to say we won't fade to grey  
Who are they anyway, they don't know_

Nobody but Angela took the time to see things from _my _point of view. She understood my love for Edward, understood my love for _both_ of them. She listened to me, she sympathized when I told her I was no longer friends with Jacob.

Charlie and Renee… were okay. Renee didn't want me to make the same mistake as she had, Charlie just didn't want to loose me.

_And you say we're too young  
But maybe you're too old to remember_

"Mom," I cried. "We're different from you and dad. "We're _sure_."

"Renee…" Charlie intoned with a warning.

"Sweetie, just think it over some more, you _will_ regret all of this!"

"_MOM!_ We're different. We _may_ be younger, but maybe you just think too old. Twenty-first century, people!" I could practically envision Edward smirking at me as I shrieked twenty-first century.

_And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we're together  
And if you don't believe me you never really knew us  
You never really knew_

After a while, Charlie became understanding, but Renee kept acting as though she could see the future of our lives. (yes… the irony). But she couldn't. Only _we_ could plan our future.

Mom didn't know us. Charlie didn't know us. _Jacob_ didn't know us.

It didn't really matter anyway, in the end.

In the end.

_You and I packing up my room  
We feel alright_

Carefree for once, Edward and I began packing my things, getting ready for me to move out. At first Charlie was devastated, but then he became helpful and supported.

As Edward and I began to get into the car, Charlie ran out of the house. "Bella! Bella, wait!"

I turned to look at him. "Yeah dad?"

"Have this. I want you to have this."

When I opened the paper, I nearly started crying all over again. It was a teardrop pendant, hanging on a sterling silver chain. "Dad…" I murmured.

"It was your grandmothers. She called it a daughter pass-along. I promised that if I had a daughter, it would go to her… so … here."

Thank you daddy! I love you!"

"You too Bells," his voice had gotten gruff. "You just call me if you need anything. And I want you to visit on the weekends, okay."

"Promise," I swore. "Promise."

_But we're not welcome, soon we'll be driving  
Cause they don't know who we are_

As Edward and I pulled into the street, I turned to look into the forest. At the very edge, just out of Charlie's line of sight, was a russet brown wolf. I had just enough of a glance to see the wet fur under his eyes.

And then he was gone.

_Who's to say we won't stay together  
Who's to say we aren't getting stronger_

After I moved in, Carlisle had gotten me my own personal cell phone. I gave the number to Charlie and Angela. Charlie had left the number sitting on the table the day mom left, so, unfortunately, she had it too.

Every single da, when she called, I never picked it up. I just let it ring, and ring, or vibrate and vibrate.

I wasn't going to be pushed down now. I was strong. I had faith that Edward wouldn't leave me again. Actually, him leaving made our relationship better and bigger.

_Who's to say I can't live without you  
Who are they anyway, they don't know_

Jacob must have snuck into my house to get my cell number because he left a long, pleading message on my phone.

"Please Bella! I need you! _You_ are _my_ sun. Please come back!!! I can't live with out you…" On and on, like that. I deleted it after listening to it.

Won't break my heart ever again—my ass.

This is dumb, I thought. _Why can't anyone just accept this?_

_And you say we're too young  
But maybe you're too old to remember  
And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we're together  
Who's to say, who's to say  
Who are they anyway_

Jasper came into my room at one point and sat down next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I could _feel _his sympathy. "Bella," he murmured. "You need to stop taking on all this weight. You're going to crumble one day."

"I'm strong…" I mumbled absently. "Strong…"

"Bella! Please, it's not your weight, not your pain to take on. Just… let it go, Bella…" he whispered. Edward was suddenly there, holding me, as I let go of my past, and just let my future begin.

_Stand up boy, I shine so bright when you're around._

Edward made me feel good about anything and everything. I couldn't do anything stupid or wrong around him. In my eyes, it was a screw-up, but in his… nothing. I felt like a star around him. The center stage for me, and only me.

Edward turned to face me, the moon a pale blue on his face.

"I like looking at the stars with you," I whispered.

"_You_ are my star," he replied simply.

**Song belongs to Vanessa Carlton, book belongs to Stephenie Meyer. The song is Who's To Say by Vanessa.**


End file.
